Does anybody want to write a movie with me?

deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrr bah meh heh

I would say I'm sorry
If I thought that it would change your mind
But I know that this time
I've said too much
Been too unkind

I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try and
Laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
'cause boys don't cry
Boys don't cry

I would break down at your feet
And beg forgiveness
Plead with you
But I know that
It's too late
And now there's nothing I can do

So I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try to
laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
'cause boys don't cry

I would tell you
That I loved you
If I thought that you would stay
But I know that it's no use
That you've already
Gone away

Misjudged your limits
Pushed you too far
Took you for granted
I thought that you needed me more

Now I would do most anything
To get you back by my side
But I just
Keep on laughing
Hiding the tears in my eyes
'cause boys don't cry
Boys don't cry
Boys don't cry

I had a good time this weekend me and Deana went to my cousin shauns birthday party but spent most of the time playing in a park with my little brother having pirate fights with sticks my brother got a little to crazy but hey hes only ten and by only ten I also mean holy shit hes ten already!
she spent the night and we watched some reno 911 and listen to a little coast to coast but we were both tired so we fell asleep
saturday we went to the movies with my aunt and shaun and saw tmnt it was good but Ill get into that later
afterwards I helped her study and we watched cops (which is sometimes funnier then reno) until she had to leave
thankfully though I get to see her in a few hours

A few weeks ago I started a second lj to bitch about and praise things the name is thristychicken so If you have any intrest in my rants then feel free to add me.....all over again

Its 3am and Im not asleep because I have a bad habit (you stupid dumbshit goddamn motherfucker)
I like to watch things or listen to radio programs (what am I 50?) about ghost and UFOs and bigfoot all that jazz
but Im a total pussy so It freaks me out and I cant sleep
hell I have the lights on in my room right now and am checking behind me every few seconds
I want a pop tart but Im to creeped out to even go into the kitchen
I wish Deana was here

Yesterday I hung out with Deana after work we have been with each other for 5 months and I love every moment of it
I helped her study and we enjoyed the nice day by walking around the graveyard (runs from the goth police) there are a few holes in the ground there and we were looking at one wondering what type of animal dug it then a gopher peeked out its head and freaked us out we also found a neat little flashlight that winds up

today Im going to my dads birthday party
in fact Im leaving now

bye

Deana just left because she wasnt feeling god but............. yesterday she went with me to my parents house for my brothers birthday party it was also the first time she met my brother my sister and my grandfather. we played with my brothers new dogs who are cute but not very fun they just kinda sat there
she also saw and held my neice I got pictures of that on my camera phone because it was very  very cute  then the snopw started coming down so we left and went back to my house where she spent the night watched some cops went to bed
today we got up and she bought borat which was funny and I made her some pita bread pizza which she liked and I havent made in over a year and then we hung out until she left
good times
tomorrow she has work so I cant see her but friday shes coming over after I get out of work and we will probally go see the 300


and roll and roll and roll

I was right this weekend has been great
sadly now I have to wait until monday to see Deana again

Im going to like this weekend

So there is a new memeber in the little family me and Deana started as of today
his name is melfred he is a duck
we went to meijers and I found him on the ground so I decided to pick him up and put him on a toy rack but then I thought he should be brought home with us
so I nabbed him bought him named him (not in that order) and gave him to my Deana doll 
today was a great day
and I turned Deana into an angel fan 

Its hard when when the girl that you are in love with doesnt belive you
when every single word you  say somehow turns into a lie
and the truth doesnt exist
I used to think that I wouldnt try to do something if i didnt already know that  I could do it
but now I know i cant be the perfect boyfriend
things ive fucked up with in the past are always going to come back in the end to haunt me and put a dent in things
and thats fair to some extent
but not always
im not horrible
im not great
im just me and thats who ive always been
ive gotten rid of the bad parts of me but those are what seem to shine through the most
ive never been on a high horse yet i keep gettng knocked off of it anyways
so im left wait a feeling of failure
and ill lay in my bed holding the sweater of the girl i love thinking of how little she thinks of me right now
its not as though ill be wondering just where it is i went wrong
but even when im doing something right
or not even doing anything at all
i still mess up
its a very hard thing
but when things do work
its beyond great
ill have the biggest smile on my face and feel like im on top of the world
hell i am on the top of the world as far as i care
and to see her smile is the sweetest thing in the world 
something i want to see all of the time
which is why it hurts so much when she doesnt belive that i love her
every moment though
either good or bad is worth it
just t have her around in some way

This was a great weekend deana came over and not only spent the night but also spent most of the day here
we watched finding neverland which is one of the gifts she got me for valentines day and i have to say that it is one of the best movies i have ever seen up there next to the evil dead 2 and life is beautiful
after that me and her played some devil may cry which she got me the box set of 
and then some zim and bed
the next day i woke up next to turn and see her which i love to do and we went to target then i helped her study we checked out the new meijers and got food and a movie
so about that movie
sweet insanity
dont see it
dont look at the box
dont think about it
forgot i brought it up
sadly after that deana had to leave
I miss her already and cant wait until she doesnt have to leave
but this was one great weekend

best idea for a cartoon ever
bender and GIR
and maybe throw in H.E.L.P.E.R from time to time

Today was a good day!

I really really wish I drove right now so I can see Deana
but theres nobody to blame but myself

Me and Deana are a couple again
the world may now resume as it was meant to

I went to visit my neighbor and landlord joe and told him about the situation Im in right now
he gave me sage like advice and I feel better now 

actually I already am sick
other then a toothache i felt not so bad this morning woke up called deana took a shower
the deana got here and we went to target and to rent a movie but when i got home i just felt very very ill
i had the chills and a headache felt weak and i actually threw up which is something i havent done in years
and yes that includes from drinking as well
deana is the best girlfriend ever she took care of me and made sure i was okay 
she left around 8 i think 
which is okay i dont want her to get sick
hpefully ill be better soon
i want to be able to kiss deana at midnight tomorrow